My name is RETRO...

and i'm an alcoholic.

so, new years eve rolls around right. im posed to get my woman, then head off to get her close friend denise since her car got pwnt. im hoping nisey's a drinker, cuz everyone at nye can pack the liquor in and it'd suck for her to be the odd man out so to speak. so we pick her up at her hotel, p doesn't introduce us (=| btw), and we head to dave's crib.

now she mentions something about getting her drink on, so in my head i'm like "cool, now we dont have to worry about any awkward moments or any sort of lecturing from a non drinking bible thumper." she was like "yeah i got my shit with me so im good." i was figuring she brought mixer or something right?


[charlie murphy]WRONG![/charlie murphy]

we step into dave's crib. sit down. and she pulls out minute maid cranberry juice. with like 5 fucking mini bottles of sky vodka. and when i mean mini, i mean MINI. like, these shits wouldnt get a fucking ant buzzed.

i look at her incredulously and ask her what the deal was. she explained that she knew we were drinkers but didnt know if all we drank was beer or the like. i tried so motherfucking hard not to stoneface her. US??? the kings of ucsb drinkathons? the functioning drunks? pfffffffffftttttt.

so we had to show her the real and bring out the big guns. hence, the pic below:





yeah that's cute nisey. real cute.